Recently, there have been some important questions in my life, and I'm still not sure if I've finished answering them, but here are the answers that I have so far.
Q. Who am I?
A. I am a storyteller. I am a writer, I am a reader, I am a student. I am swordsman of unrivaled skill(except by everyone else) and I am a Wizard! I am a superhero, and I am a supervillain. I am everything within me when I write, and when I read. I am just as much my stories as I am a person, for without the stories within my brain, there is truly no me.
Q. Do I matter, if so how?
A. For the longest time, I refused to believe that I matter, up through recently. But, I've been thinking and talking to people and I've realized that I do. There are people who care about me, and want me to be ok- no, need me to be ok. Additionally, there are people who I have managed to make happy with my nerdy knowledge, my stories, and the strange yet wonderful ideas packed into my mind. I matter because other people want or need me, and because there are people I can make smile. I may not be the next great American Author, or the Lawyer of the Century, but I know that since I have impacted one life, I matter, because the power to change a life is the power to change the world.
Q. Why am I alive?
A. I am alive completely by chance. I won the lottery, and the prize is life! A chance to be, and to love, and to live, and to hope and to fear, and I feel lucky to have the gift the universe has given me, for there to be an Eric Lasko, and for there to be people I love.
Q. Do I want to be alive?
A. For the longest time, I haven't been too sure, if I'm being completely honest. But I've made my decision. I'm here, and I want to live, even if it's for others, and not for me. I'm not often happy, and I may experience sadness more than half of my time alive, but that being said, life is beautiful, and the world is a beautiful place, and I want to be here for as long as I can, telling stories, reading comics, and watching Doctor Who. That being said, it is a struggle, with every step I take being a battle, and every day a war. Between my depression and anxiety, as much as I want to be alive, there are times when it feels impossible. I will keep fighting though, until at last all my wars are over, and every demon smote.
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